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People tell me that I am good at the psychological aspect of dealing with people. I do think that to accomplish things in life, you have to know how to deal with people. And that means dealing with unique people in different ways. Understanding what statement or delivery might motivate a certain person to go down a certain path. Sometimes I say, Now what would you do if you were sitting in this chair? Let their mind work. I also use questions a lot as a way to direct my employees in a more decent way than if I am simply telling them, Go do this. The way you talk to people is important. If you're nice and genuine to people, they're going to be nice to you. For every action, there's a reaction.

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I believe killing people with kindness works, and on top of that I rarely take “no” for an answer. People that work for me know that nothing drives me crazier than, “I’m waiting for someone to call me back.” If I need something from someone, I call them. And if I really need it, five minutes later I’m going to call again. I realize I can’t just teach people to not take “no” for an answer. You have to help people overcome their hesitations and to build some skills to get to a “yes” without being annoying. If you wait for others to get back to you, you often will not get what you want.

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Whether it’s making a movie or planning a trip, I make lists for everything. Every weekend, I will write down things I want to achieve during the week. And through the week I am always writing in my notebook. I intermingle personal goals or statements. “Make sure I do such and such with my kid” or thoughts on how can I be a better husband. It’s important to write things down because we live such busy lives. If you put pencil to paper, it has a way of happening.

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I tell people that work with me that one of the most important skills in negotiations is active listening. I believe in not always asking questions with the purpose of getting the other side to reveal things. There is immense, untapped benefit to getting a deep understanding of what drives them and you certainly build good will with such an approach. “Why is that issue important to you. I want to understand it the way you understand it. I don’t want to have a false impression. Explain to me why that matters so much to you. Where does it come from? Why does it create an imperative?” You can’t find the underlying sources of behavior and issues unless you ask questions in this way. In my personal life, this skill has made me more interested in others and in turn made others more comfortable with me. When people see that I am curious by being an active listener, they get a message of respect from me. And of course you have the benefit of actually learning something.

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Setting goals and then getting things done. I’m always asking myself what do I really want to achieve in life. A lot of people set financial goals. How much money do you want to make, or what’s your net worth going to be. I think the right goals need to be based on what you want to experience in life, what you want your family life, spiritual life, social life tobe like. Are you allowing yourself to do things just to have fun? We let our lives resemble ping-pong balls. The player determines which direction the ball goes; the ball has no control. Many of us live our lives that way. We let ourselves get pushed around by events and people and we really don’t take control of our lives.

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The first thing they would notice is that I am tenacious as hell. When I am focused on a goal, I am very determined and I don’t take “no” easily. I can fall down, get up, learn from the experience. Also, I’m secure enough with myself to unabashedly admit what I don’t know and to seek help from others. Also, if you want to get things done you have to delegate. I will find the very best people I can with whatever network I can employ, to find people of competence and integrity. If it’s repairing something around the house, I will find the best person, figure out what needs to be done, make a budget and plan, make them accountable and get out of the way. I want to put my energy into the things that are higher priority values for me. I want 60 minute hours for my high priority items. Lastly and very important, I really try to connect to people and establish a trusting relationship. Trust is a seminal quality for a satisfactory relationship.

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I don’t get up at same time every day. I get up roughly two and a half hours before I need to start my day. Once it starts, I can’t control it. So if I have to catch a plane at 10am, I’ll be up 2.5 hours before I need to leave at the airport. If 7:30am is when my day has to start then I will get up around 5am no matter where in the world I am.

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I ask for things and I think I’m pretty clear in the way that I ask. I say please and I say thank you. If I really want it, I just keep asking for it. I can be proactive but hopefully, not overly aggressive! I was more passive in college because I wanted to be liked, and then found that the internal resentments and pretty grievances would build up. I started to learn that that the clearer and the more direct I can be the easier life is. Even if you’re saying things sometimes that people don’t fully want to hear, it’s just so much better. I had to exercise that muscle, these were not natural personality traits.

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I start my day with mediation. I usually do one of three things or a combination. I have morning prayer which I do every day, maybe reading from one of those books of wisdom that gives you a quote for the day and meditate on that quote. And then I process what do I have to do that day, what are the meetings that I have to be in, what’s the purpose of those meetings, what do I want to get out of them. I visualize what the day should look like. In a five minute period I’ll see the entire day and what I want to come out of that day and what do I need to challenge myself to do for that outcome that I’ve visualized to exist. And then I take a step back from that, usually try to think about nothing for the next five minutes and then start my day. I work hard early in the mornings.

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I’m always planning, making notes, using time in between meetings and calls to get things done. I have a small black notebook that I fits into my pocket. I carry it with me everywhere. I am constantly jotting down thoughts, adding tasks for myself, knocking things off the list. When I’m traveling, I’m constantly reading, using any spare moment. If I am stuck on a rental car shuttle, I have reading with me. I have several websites bookmarked on my smart phone that I can browse when I am in line at a restaurant or waiting for a meeting to start. There is something zen about being able to escape the drudgery and frustration of a long line by doing something productive.

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Over the years, I have developed email lists of people that can help me in different spheres of my life. I have developed email lists of individuals involved in various business and personal interests of mine. You don’t need to be a CEO to build and cultivate these types of networks, but you do need to invest time in providing useful information and being responsive.

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Ever since I was 13, I would have objectives. And since my 20’s, I have always had a formal five year plan; writing out what I want to be and what I want to do. I can tell you now looking back that this has been a huge factor in what I have accomplished in my life. A critical piece is the tracking component. I consistently go back and review my five year plans to see whether I am on schedule to accomplish what I set out to do. I have made a habit of always thinking about where I am heading.

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It is a habit of mine once a month to get away from everything and just sit alone with a pen and a yellow legal pad. How do I see things? What is going to satisfy me? What is not going to satisfy me? What are the positives and negatives of doing such and such?

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One of the most important habits of mine is that I carry a small notepad and digital recorder with me at all times. The notepad allows me to write down thoughts and map out ideas as they come up. The recorder allows me to speak out my thoughts and ideas if I am not able to write, like in my car. I use a service that transcribes my voice files into text. What gets written down gets done, and you never know when you are going to think of a little task or a big idea that will make your life better.

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I always talk on the phone with a headset whether at home or the office. I can usually get lightweight tasks done at the same time, like filing on my computer.

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I have a double shot of espresso about an hour after lunch every day. It kicks things into a gear after the lull of lunch and it helps me be creative. I’ll split my days and use my afternoons to work on my design bench or to solve business issues. That shot of espresso makes my brain shift gears and make me productive.

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I write in a journal consistently. I use it primarily for work but then I start thinking about my life and I’ll write two pages about my personal life. With this alone time, I think about what I ought to be doing and those thoughts often lead to action.

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Think before you act. Ever since I was a teenager, I developed this habit of editing what I am about to say a millisecond before I say it. It saves me a lot of time by minimizing the instances of saying something ineffective, inappropriate or stupid.

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People have given me a Blackberry and all kinds of electronic devices over the years but I have always written everything down in school notebooks. I jot down key words in my notebooks and later I can find a previous note and recall entire conversations. This has benefited me a great deal when I needed to prove a point later. But my notebooks aren’t just conversations. I also jot down my thoughts. Anything I see and hear can spark an idea in me. I write it down at once and often look back through old notebooks to gain fresh ideas to to see what I might have missed. I would advise people to keep a notebook with them at all times. It’s a great habit to get into.

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I can share an example from an experience today actually. An hour ago I was meeting with a guy who wants to be selected as the architect on a hotel project I am working on. And a few days prior he had on his dime flown down to LA to attend one of our planning sessions. During the meeting, I asked him why he wants to work with us. His response was,”I watched you and your wife and how you interacted with each other and your team. You have fun together and you respect and have fun with other people.” He went on, “I can tell you without shadow of a doubt that you’re going to get at least 25% more work from people like me because of your good nature.” That struck me and I believe that if you are good-natured without it being a means to an end, you do benefit in ways like this. We are all willing to do our best for people whom we respect and enjoy. It’s a good way to live and a good way to work.

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I believe in establishing trust foremost. And that you cannot establish trust if you’re always going in trying to be the victor. It need not be about winning. How do we work with this person? What’s the right language to deal with the situation? What common ground exists?

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I think you would notice that I am all about soaking up the experiences. I can still remember one evening on Jamaica, sitting on the beach outside a bar, listening to Bob Marley, drinking a beer, watching a flock of pelicans diving in the water after fish. I love experiences like that and try to soak them up when I recognize them.

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I take a few minutes alone during my morning coffee to map out how I want my day to go and what I want to accomplish. I also have a habit of keeping track of the way I feel in general.  On a daily basis, I find myself taking that time to breath and stand on the outside looking in. This allows me to gain perspective.