Mike Krzyzewski

I had the immense opportunity to interview Mike Krzyzewski at the Milken Conference earlier this year.  Coach K is one of the most successful coaches in any sport on any level. However, Mike is probably even more respected today for his role as a leadership expert, a motivational speaker and a philanthropist.

You can view the VIDEO of our interview with Coach Krzyzewski HERE.

Within the video there are index tags so you can navigate per your preferences.

Here are some of my favorite excerpts of the interview:

-  Self dialogue practice (”Being in tune with yourself” section)

-  Follow the people you can learn from, not the money.  (”Associating yourself with good people” section)

-  Getting outside, solitude. (”On spending time in nature” section)

I belive when people think of Mike Krzyzewski, they think of a high integrity person who aspires to be a successful human being rather than simply a successful professional.  That is what they respect and it’s also what leads to his quality of life.

So, what drives me? These are 10 contributors to what I especially love about my life, in no particular order. I’m working on all of them. Doesn’t mean I don’t fall off the wagon. But as with all things, we need to pick ourselves up, brush ourselves off, and jump on again. Enjoy!

1. Discovering and Rediscovering Passions

When I was 14, all I wanted to do was to study abroad, get a degree in something wildlife or environmental related, and save the world. I did that (not the save the world bit, but I’m still in the wildlife conservation industry). I’m 36 and I’ve realized it’s time for me to discover, rediscover and pursue other passions in my life. I’m in the process of doing this, and I’m excited about it. I thrive on the process of discovery. I have a lot of things I can be passionate about. I just haven’t found one I want to pursue just yet.

2. Exercise and Keeping Healthy

I don’t look super fit. I’m not in great physical shape and I certainly am not drop-dead gorgeous Miss Athlete. But I tell ya, I looove working out, I loooove getting out in the jungle and trekking around, I loooove swimming, and I loooove sharing these activities with my friends. Exercise and activity keep me focused; eating well (as much as possible, anyway) makes me feel good about myself. I come to a place of quiet and inner reflection during a trek in the forest, on the treadmill, with every stroke of my swim. My focus is always on the exercise and fitness. Whether I lose weight or anything else is never the goal. I believe that’s the key philosophy on exercise.

3. Being Anchored in Who I Am

A good friend of mine whacked into my head the need for me to love myself. I’m not talking about narcissistic, look-at-me, it’s-all-about-me neurosis. I’m talking about taking care of myself so I’m in shape to take care of other stuff and people in my life. This meant my health, self-respect, and knowing myself. It’s important for me to get well-acquainted with who I am, recognize the things that make me me, the trash I need to chuck out the window and then move on to love the world. I can’t do that without first being anchored in who I am. This is an ongoing process. There’s always new things to learn and know. “Ogres are like onions,” says Shrek. Well, so are people. It’s a long process, this anchoring, and painful. The journe is hard and neverending, but I can’t see how I can grow without it.

4. Having An Uncluttered Lifestyle

This is something new that I’m trying out. I’ve just bought a house. There’s almost nothing in it. That was by default. But I know I like having almost nothing in it. Physical clutter is a reflection of a cluttered mind. Multi-tasking is often not as great as people would like to think. Keeping things minimalist gives me clarity of mind. There is no satisfaction in getting many things done haphazardly. I prefer to get a few things done but done with mindfulness, thoughtfulness and thoroughness.

5. Faith

I am a Christian and I am not ashamed to say it. Faith is important to the human psyche, whatever faith you subscribe to. We are built to believe. But it is important for me to practise my faith with eyes wide open. Forget the Christian guilt, the obey-or-burn-in-hell theologies. My faith in God is anchored in what I know of my God, from a droplet of water to giant fig trees that have lived for 100 years; in what I believe at the very core of my being. Not in blind following. What do you believe in?

6. Family, Friends and Dogs

You love’em, you argue with ‘em, you hurt ‘em, they hurt you, you need ‘em. We are the sum of the people we spend the most time with. Family and friends keep me where I am. They are important to me. I hope my friends stay with me to the end of my days. My family and friends are my conscience, my sounding board, the devil’s advocates, my comfort and my strength. Quality of life is not about calm seas and eternal sunshine. It’s about how we derive the best out of the stuff th life throws at us.

I have had dogs for as long as I can remember. There’s no other way to describe it; dogs soothe my soul. What soothes my soul is definitely has to go into my quality of life list.

7. Being Present

I used to go through life in a humdrum monotonous blur. It was like nothing mattered, everything dragged along until I could find something to entertain me for a few minutes, and then the monotony continued. There was no mindfulness or presence. It made me look slow, felt none-too-bright; and generally life felt meaningless. These days, I like to be mindful of what I do, present in whatever activity I’m doing at that moment. If I’m on the road, I like to be completely present of the feel of the steering wheel, the sights and sounds of traffic. If I’m writing, I want to be completely immersed in it. If I’m taking talking to someone, I want to be completely present and attentive. People notice presence of mind. They know they have my full attention, that I mean what I say and say what I mean; there’s a satisfaction in completing something in that state of mind. It improves my self-esteem, keeps me focussed and mentally agile.

8. Getting Away for a Breather

Holidays are great. Everybody needs them. Everyone should have one at least once a year. Wherever  I live, I need to get away from there once in a while. It’s like pressing the refresh button. If I can afford to, I get out of town. Otherwise, I go camping, or park myself near a beach for the weekend. Routine is great, but then so is a change of scenery. Getting away gives me a chance to observe life in a different setting. It never disappoints. I’ve been blessed with opportunities to refresh myself in Australia, China, Java, Sulawesi, Singapore, Thailand, London and New York. Some of those trips were for work. It doesn’t matter. Short intermittent changes are great for me to reset, refocus and regroup.

9. Being Excited About Living

Life is really short. Why do we spend so much time worrying about insanely insignificant things? Like what sort of car to buy, or what to wear, buying things, or pleasing the boss? For that matter, why do we spend our adult lives trapped in tiny spaces doing work that we don’t like? The fact that you are reading this and that I have written this piece means we are both blessed with computers and the wuhwuhwuh (www). Over three billion people in the world are hardcore poor (according to the World Bank). I will wager that many of that three billion are excited about being alive. I don’t have an excuse not to be excited about life. I’m excited about exuding positive energy to all and sundry, as much as I can (yes, it’s a learning process!). I’m excited about giving the best I can during this short sojourn on earth. Seriously, what’s not to be excited about? Life throws a lot of stuff at us. What we make of that stuff, whether we whine about it or celebrate it, is entirely up to us. If I’m having a bad day – and yes, I do have those – I’d like to make it a great bad day. By default, that often takes away the ‘bad’ and leaves me with a great day.

10. Written Words

I love the written word, whether I find it in a book or if I’ve written it myself. Reading expands my mind. It takes me to places and times no modern invention can. Writing forces me to get in touch with my own thoughts. It pulls and moulds them into a shape that I can work with. I’ve been writing one thing or another since I was seven. I’m not a great writer, but do I care? I’m not competing to be the greatest writer the world has ever seen. Writing is part of who I am, as much as reading is.

Why is money and financial security not in there? Don’t they matter? Yes, of course. I wouldn’t be able to travel or get away,  buy the home that I keep at a minimalist stage, have the car that brings me to the gym, the pool or the nearest natural area. I subscribe to the idea that finances follow when a person is at balance with him/herself. The list is part of my balancing act.

So there you go. Things that contribute to my quality of life. Essentially, what drives me. What about you?

Mario Morino

Mario Morino is a man for whom I have great respect for.  He is one of the most accomplished entrepreneurs and philanthropists I have come across:  he cofounded and built Legent Corporation and Venture Philanthropy Partners, his latest creation.

However, the reason people have great respect for Mario is the person he is.  Despite all of his accomplishments, you will not meet a more grounded person.  You can tell he is the same person he always was and that he treats people based on their character and not their station or resume.

In my interview with Mario he made the following comment which I think is a great bit of wisdom we should all think about for a minute.

“Sometimes the characteristics that served me in the business world—a hard charging, driving force — tend not to be  the best characteristics for husband and father. So I have made strides in deprogramming myself from the characteristics that are not great to use around the house.”

http://www.qualityoflifeproject.org/articles/mind-article/854/

This is a very rich perspective he shared.  It is fine to blend your work and personal lives, but at the same time you can also divide your work and family life styles. It is not an issue of authenticity.  It’s an issue of different worlds.

Some people might argue that if you are strategic, results oriented and calm enough you can operate the same way in both worlds.  I don’t buy that.  I think you have to be aggressive in the business world to get things done.   You can do it in a constructive way that lends dignity to others; but you still have to be hard charging.  That sense of aggressiveness is what you don’t need to bring home.  [Sidenote: I need to disclaim for the 37th time that these are issues I am observing in my interviews; not practices I am necessarily on top of.]

I think the same also goes for business language.  My wife and I have basically agreed to cut down on business jargon around the house.  I’m not just talking about “at the end of the day” (Ryan from The Office style) business speak; I’m talking about more subtle business jargon like “fundamental.”  “Honey, maybe the fundamental problem with our babysitter is…”  Give your spouse a break with the business speak….

Back to the main wisdom bit here.  I agree wholeheartedly with (and aspire to learn from) Mario’s wisdom bit about learning to deprogram yourself when you migrate from the office to the home.  When you are at home, you don’t need to be on your toes, jockey for position, make things happen, read situations.  You just need to chill and hang out.

By Paul Mallory

People often talk about work/life balance. I realized one day (in middle age) that my work life is a huge percentage of my time on earth, and that I wanted my life to be as meaningful, contributory and joyful as I could make it. The key for me is to have work that feels like I am using my gifts to the full, and making a difference. That’s when I formed my company, Soul Work, to coach people on finding more fulfillment at work.

Children

I have four beautiful, bright, happy and hilarious children, ranging from a school leaver to a middle-school starter. These are my favorite people in the world, and they are the people who bring joy to my weekends and through their aspirations and achievements, some huge, some tiny. They come before everything else for me, but I also realized that to support, mentor and make them happy, I needed to be happy in myself and that I therefore needed to feel good about myself and find fulfilment in my work.

Mission

I am happiest when I feel ‘on-purpose’, i.e. that my daily work is me being who I authentically am, at my core, and using my unique strengths for the benefit of others. When we’re lost in our work, we are ‘in flow’, and that’s a great feeling. I formed my company ‘Soul Work’ to research the question of how we can increase our fulfilment at work, by either changing our mindset around our current role, or by finding a new role that allows the possibility of alignment to our life purpose.

Self Awareness, Perspective and Life-Long Learning

My voracious reading habit has, over the years, opened the door for me to life-changing ideas. Practice these, and quality of life increases exponentially. Major influences have been Stephen Covey’s ‘7 habits of highly effective people’, Eckhart Tolle’s ‘Power of Now’, ‘Conversations with God’ by Neale Donald Walsch, and much of Anthony Robbins’ material.  I can never understand people who are unwilling to admit there is something they don’t know. I feel that the more I learn, the more I uncover to be learned. After all, the universe is infinite… and is still expanding! How can we know it all? Lifelong learning as a philosophy and a habit brings joy and curiosity to my life.

Music

I play the guitar, and it’s a great way to change state and get into a whole other mood. I also love to listen to music, wherever I am. Music comes from and touches the spirit. If there is more to life than material reward, paying the bills and trying to stay ahead, then music, art of any sort, beauty for it’s own sake, those are the things that take us there. Cherish them!

Movies and Theatre

I love to watch movies and theatre that connect with me emotionally in some way. I think movies are the ultimate art form in a sense, because when they are the product of a director at the peak of his powers, surrounded by a talented team, they can move me like no other medium. I think that’s partly because of the power of the combination of visual art, music, the ability to make the impossible happen on screen, the ability to take us back (or forward) to another time, or to take us to a foreign country or planet in an instant. What would caveman have made of the spectacle of a movie flashing before his eyes?

Voluntary Work

I have been a volunteer listener at an emotional distress helpline for four years now. It has had a huge impact on me, by connecting me to strangers in difficulty, making a difference for the sake of that difference, and helping me to be less judgmental and a better listener. Can you imagine what the world would be like if each human being helped one other human being in some important and meaningful way, without any motivation to do so other than giving out of love? Can you imagine how good it feels, to give in that way?

Coaching

I discovered coaching a few years ago, as a development of my voluntary work, wanting to be more proactively helpful (where appropriate) than providing just a listening service. What I found, as I studied coaching over several years and became qualified, is that each of us has all our answers within, but our inner voice is often a confusing jumble of ideas and repetitive thought patterns. Having somebody else who is totally on your side listening to your crazy dreams can make them magically solidify into possibilities, then probabilities, and finally, inevitabilities! It truly works and it has become the primary vehicle to help people find fulfilment at work, through my company Soul Work.

Proactive Health

The absolute integrated nature of mind, body and spirit is becoming more widely acknowledged, and we can all cite examples of our mind causing sickness to our bodies. Why then do we still, in western cultures, treat our bodies as though they are invulnerable, when the distance between life and death can be like a candle flickering in a breeze? I notice that if I am feeling tired or stressed, although it feels counter-intuitive at the time, I get out and run by the river, through the trees, across the fields for half an hour. I always but ALWAYS feel better mentally and physically afterwards. I ran my first marathon in London last year and the sense of achievement was enormous. Many of these things that lead to joy in life are about stepping out of our comfort zone and into the stretch zone. That’s where the juice in life is to be found!

Writing

I have never had the time to write as much as I would like. Yet, every time I sit and write, I get quickly into ‘flow’ and feel so engaged with life. I believe writing is therapeutic, and everyone can write a page of a journal per day. A little like the powerful effect of coaching, just expressing one’s inner most thoughts on paper has an amazing way of connecting us to our deepest spirit.

Working and Living Environment

I sometimes take my environment for granted. Now that I pause to reflect, I am very lucky to be able to work at home most days, working as I do for a web-based professional association. I enjoy working in a fairly quiet, fairly solitary environment; it gives me space and thinking time. I don’t enjoy noisy, bustling spaces so much. I live and work in a second floor modern apartment in an old mill next to the River Avon in Evesham, Worcestershire, UK, a very green and quiet area surrounded by fruit farms. I don’t face the morning commute any more, and my children (who live elsewhere) can walk to my home in ten minutes.

Ariane de Bonvoisin

I had the opportunity to interview Ariane de Bonvoisin this summer.  We met last year and I have quickly become a fan of her endeavors.

Ariane is the author of First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier and has built a media company around her desire to help people enjoy life more.  Ariane embodies this Quality of Life Project purpose:

-  Contributing to the growing worldwide movement in which individuals are increasingly measuring success based on quality of life over other pursuits and are increasingly drawn to authenticity over pretense.

Ariane’s independent approach to life is truly inspiring. She lives like an explorer constantly finding new and interesting experiences to enrich her life. And her path through life is a great indicator. She grew up living in six countries, was an internationally competitive swimmer and graduated London School of Economics at 19 and Stanford Business School at 24. She went on to leadership positions in the venture capital world, at one time overseeing Time Warner’s venture fund. But she felt out of synch and saw how her personal life was suffering through by not being in tune with her true inner voice. She was always a spiritual person but felt she needed to regroup. Ariane ended up taking a new path. In 2005, she decided to become a media entrepreneur, which led to her First 30 Days book and the launching of www.first30days.com and soon www.arianestudio.com.

You can view the VIDEO of our interview with Ariane HERE.

Within the video there are index tags so you can navigate per your preferences.

There are some outstanding takes on big picture life perspectives that have helped Ariane enjoy her life.  You should not miss out on these.  But the best part of the interview in my opinion are the little things we unearthed that any of us can immediately try out.

-  Trampoline in office (“What brings you joy” section)

-  Five year journal.  (“What brings you joy” section)

-  Wheatgrass (“Diet or health practices” section)

I hope you enjoy the video!  Ariane is doing great work so if you like her book, definitely help get the word out…

Ten Tips to Greater Quality of Life

The most frequent question we get from people is, “So, with all the interviews  you’ve done, what are the commonalities that you’ve seen?”

We are now ready to report back to you the common practices that have emerged through all our interviews.

We aren’t offering a road map; but rather a simple recap of what practices and perspectives we have encountered the most, as well as some links to interview excerpts that expand on the particular quality of life driver.

We hope you like it.

You can get a free copy at our home page, www.qualityoflifeproject.org.

Mark McKinnon

I had the pleasure of interviewing Mark McKinnon while I was in Austin not too long ago.  A friend of mine Megan Hundahl, who heard great things about Mark from her days at CNN, recommended I reach out to him for an interview.

As I started to research Mark, it was clear he would be a great interview.  He seemed  like a real humble guy with a range of interests and some incredible successes.  Breaking it down for you, he’s one of the most respected political analysts and consultants in the world.  And he also used to write songs with Kris Kristofferson which is pretty cool.  Oh yeah and he ran the Ironman twice.

But what drew me to Mark was that he actually uses the term “quality of life” in his professional CV.  “Mark’s quality of life is exceptionally enhanced by the enduring love and patience of his wife…and his daughters.”

How cool is that…  Well, we knew he would be a great interview and we were not disappointed.  Here are the highlights and further below is a link to the video.

Living in the moment and actually having a daily practice to reap the benefits
Mark has a jar of beads on his desk in his office that contains an approximate count of the number of days he expects to live (assuming relatively good health less unexpected accidents).  Next to this jar is another container.  Every morning, Mark takes out a bead, holds it, reflects upon it for a minute or two, and then deposits it in the other container.  This is one of the most interesting practices I’ve come across in my interviews.  What is evident is that Mark is reaping the quality of life dividends of living in the moment, not just because he has a great perspective, but because he is actually doing something about it.  But it’s more than that.  It’s the method.  A lot of people “do something about it” but it’s about using a practice that brings the best results that counts.  In his case, he has jars that sit right in front of him on his desk.

More communication is not necessarily better communication.
Mark wrote an article at the Daily Beast on this subject and cited Twitter as a good example.  In the interview, Mark emphasizes that as a society our quality of life can be diminished if we buy into the notion that more communication is better communication.  “I’m giving it up [Twitter]. I know I’ll get roasted for being anti-tech. But, what I really am is pro-meaningful communication. And somewhere along the Internet highway, we fell under the spell that more communication is better communication. Sometimes more communication is just noise.”

You can only have so many friends
This is related to the above point.  Mark’s take is that one of the best contributors to quality of life is the quality of your friendships.  And the quality of your friendships can be diminished if you have too many.  Simple as that.  Some of this is driven by social networks.  But also email and cell phones makes it much easier to maintain friendships that in the past 3000 years you simply would not have had time for.

Here’s the video clip broken down into segments using tags. We hope you enjoy the interview, and please do share your thoughts with us via comments…

Photo by Tata_Aka via Flickr

I had lunch recently with the managing editor of Keith Ferrazzi’s company Ferrazzi Greenlight.  She asked if I could put together a small piece on what quality of life means to me.

It’s funny because you would think I would have written something along these lines given our organization.  The thing is we always see ourselves more as a “manager” in this project so it’s not our tendency to tell you about our personal practices.

Anyway, here is what I came up with.  It was actually a very cool exercise.

WHAT DOES QUALITY OF LIFE MEAN TO ME?

Quality of life to me is living in a way and doing the things that makes me enjoy life.

I guess these are the things that get me there, at least at this stage in my life.

Family

I have an incredible wife and two great kids that I love very much.  I’m also lucky to have parents and siblings and extended family that I love being around.  The love I get from my wife and family makes me feel confident and secure; and everything springs from there for me.  I also think that one of the great things in life is to be able to share experiences with people you love and respect.  Whether it’s a day at the beach or a nice bottle of wine, being able to share it with someone you enjoy being with makes it that much  better.

Being in tune with myself

I have always been an introspective person but when I was 20 I had an experience which set me on the path of examining myself.  It’s a long story but that experience led me to better knowing myself (which certainly included some discomfort) and ultimately having a more confident approach to life.

Alone time

I need to carve out reflection time so I can assess if I am on the right path. This can be big picture stuff like spending enough time with friends but it can also be small stuff like remembering to mark my calendar for something I ought to do.

Doing the things I like

To me, it’s spending time with people I love and enjoy, doing meaningful work and surfing.  Those are the things that I love to do the most so I plan around that.

Managing the mix

It is dificult because not only do things evolve over time but at a given time there are multiple and sometimes overlapping quality of life drivers that you need to prioritize.  It becomes an art form, for example, to know how much to focus on work given the quality of life dividends of financial success and the flexibility it can allow later.

Work

I don’t feel good unless I have interesting work that keeps me busy.  While I enjoy work, I believe that there have to be periods of stress and flux to ultimately achieve progress.

Being in nature

Spending time in nature is a key part of my enjoying life.  It’s where I have the most fun but I also need to be in nature a lot to  just feel right.

Being independent

To me, this actually means taking offense when others try to tell me how I should live.   The reality is given the extent of product and idea marketing out there that does NOT have your personal interests in mind, you HAVE TO BE skeptical in order to live your best life.  Don’t let someone bring down your quality of life because they want you to buy their shitty salad dressings.

Enjoying the contradictions in life

I don’t want my life to make perfect sense.  Walt Whitman in Song to Myself said, “Do I contradict myself?  Very well, then, I contradict myself.  I am large, I contain multitudes.”  I believe getting the most out of life means allowing dichotomies to exist.  I can’t live without being mature but I also can’t live without being immature.

Working hard at relationships
I have relationship issues like anyone but I work hard at doing what I can do to effect the happiness of those close to me and to minimize family and relationship problems overall. Call me crazy but I don’t like drama and stress and using my time on repair issues when I could be using that time on other stuff.  I find it helpful to invest the time to think about what are some things I can do to make those close to me happy.  I have a tendency to be controlling though, and I need to work on that.

Being organized

I feel my best when I am on top of my tasks.  I have a system for managing my tasks and I am good about sticking to it.  One of the most common traits I’ve observed in people that enjoy life is a “make it happen” approach.  Being organized and doing the things that makes you happy work hand in hand.

Money

What I want in life is to have freedom of movement.  To go where I want to go when I want. Money helps on this front; doing well financially is a goal of mine for this reason.  I am in the camp that does not believe that money brings happiness.  But I am firmly in the camp that believes that if you have the other things in order (being a positive, secure, non-materialistic person), financial security can definitely help on the quality of life front.

Getting what you want

People don’t like to talk about this quality of life driver because they don’t want to seem aggressive.  We all want to make things happen. If you get the best table in the restaurant and do it in a cool way, that is a noble approach to life in my opinion.

Guarding my time

Time is my most precious resource.  I exercise in a way that minimizes time.  I plan phone calls before I do ten minute plus drives.  I always have reading material with me when opportunities for lines or delays exist.  I also realize there are some people out there that don’t get me or appreciate me and I am good about not prioritizing my time to be with them.   Back to the point of letting contradicitons exist, I am also a big fan of idle time.  I have been called a “football thug” by my wife on more than one occasion.

What are the things that contribute to your quality of life? If you put yours together and submit via comments, I will include in a follow up post.

The best thing about being a Dad I think is all the extra love.  The affection you receive from your kids is incredible and getting that makes my life a whole lot better.

Anyway, I’ll write more further below and share some pics of my kids, but let me first share what some of our readers contributed.  This is the first time I tapped into our readership to share some content and I love what we got.
_________________________________________________________________
Dave Crawford –  Long Beach, California

Fatherhood for me, is full of joy and pride..but also significant responsibility. Fatherhood can’t help but make you think of life in the long term sense. How what you do and say today will impact your life as well as the life of your family. From relationships to health, life priorities to financial investments, fatherhood gives me the perspective and motivation to make sure the decisions I’m making right now have long term benefits for myself and the people I love.
_________________________________________________________________

Robert Sturman, RobertSturmanStudio.com –  Santa Monica, California

A good father is the sun. Rays of light, selflessly providing, nurturing, caring for his family. That’s what I think of when I think of true fatherhood.

Robert Sturman

_________________________________________________________________

Wesley Hein, LifeTwo.com –  Santa Monica, California

Fatherhood has been everything I ever expected and much more. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. The big surprise for me is that otherwise mundane things like watching TV, eating dinner, driving, etc. are all fun when done with my kids but no so without them.
_________________________________________________________________
Matthew Scott, StrategicIncubator.com –  West Linn, Oregon

Four years ago on Christmas Eve, my father & I left my San Diego home to get my mother a last-minute gift.

Within minutes, my father spoke about things that a son is not always prepared to hear. He told me what he wanted if he were to suddenly pass away.

I asked him if he had any regrets about his personal or professional life? He placed his calloused hands, from years of working on an Arkansas farm, upon
my knee and said to me, “I have none. And when you find the work that matters, Matthew, you will never work another day for the rest of your life.”

One last question, “Dad, if you had to pick a way to go, how would you want to go? My dad answered instantly, “That would be easy. I would be playing
tennis with my hooligan buddies and hit the game winning backhand and then have a painless heart attack.”

Exactly nine days later my father passed away after experiencing a massive heart attack while playing tennis with his buddies.

The next day, I resigned my position as a Vice President of a Biotechnology company in San Diego.

I have not “worked” in over four years since I found the work that matters to me.

Thanks, Dad.

_________________________________________________________________

Ken Jolley — Phoenix, Arizona

Think of all the things you enjoy.  If cost was of no consequence and you could take off at this moment and do anything you wanted, what would you do?  What gives you the greatest joy?  Is it flying off to a private island, taking a relaxing fly fishing trip to Montana, climbing Mt Everest, or one of a thousand other things?  Where does watching your son hit the winning basket in the last game of the season rate?  How about listening to your daughter play the piano all the while wondering where she got her artistic talents?  Now here is the real question…  If these moments were taken from you, what price would you pay to get them back?
_________________________________________________________________
Jeff Rose, The Rose Group –  Santa Monica, CA

Fatherhood is a tradition… filled with moments of knowledge gleaned from my dad, my friends’ fathers and day by day….my own life as a father.
This year, two days before Father’s Day I traveled across the country to see my friend Mark’s son graduate high school; a great father’s day gift for Mark and a moment 30 years ago that he could never share with his own dad…who passed away when we were 16.  At the time his dad wasn’t much older than Mark and I are today.  When I return home tomorrow to spend father‘s day with my own children, I will live that day as if it is my last father’s day, as that is how I live every day as a dad.

Eden and Auggie Rose, Rat Beach, Palos Verdes, CA

_________________________________________________________________

Kit Cooper, Quality of Life Project –  Pacific Palisades, CA

I am extremely fortunate that I get to spend about three hours a day during the workweek with my kids  I’ve got the 6:30am-8:00am shift and  then I’m with them from 5pm-7pm playing with them and helping with dinner, bath and bedtime.

My wife Misha and I have two kids.  Levi is four and Gemma is a year-and-a-half.  Misha is an incredible mom.  She’s like an expert having worked as a children’s therapist right before we had kids.  She makes them feel loved all the time.  At the same time, she is a big fan of structure and behavior modification to hopefully help them thrive later when they are on their own.  My point is that most of what I get out of being a father is due to how my wife has raised our kids.

Here are my thoughts with my fourth Father’s Day this weekend.  I’m sure as my kids get older, I’ll have different insights;

-  Being a Dad means giving and getting the love.  One day I was giving Levi a piggy back ride when he said, “Daddy, you’re the daddy I always wanted.”  I was like, “Ah man, that is so sweet!” To which Levi said, “You forgot to say I’m the son you’ve always wanted!”

-  Being a Dad means seeing the beauty of fresh, uncluttered, imaginative minds. This is an almost cliché observation but it’s awesome to witness.  Given their maturity, they come up with ten times more intellectual observations than adults.  You realize just how much more powerful and our minds would be if we experienced less stress and allowed ourselves more still, creative time.

-  Being a Dad means some hilarious, random lines.  One day Levi was eating a slice of pizza naked and out of nowhere informed me, “My pe#@s is going to eat this slice of pizza!!”

-  Being a Dad means torture assignments that had to have been devised during the Spanish Inquisition.  Picking up 26 crushed cheerios off a floor and removing smashed banana from a rug at 6:08 in the morning is definitely a form of penance.  We haven’t approached the teenage years yet; I’m sure we can expect some serious hazing then too.

-  I know I’m getting ahead of myself but being a Dad means that hopefully in the last third of my life I’ll be surrounded by grandkids…  My business partner for many years Alberto Fernandez gave me this piece of wisdom when we talked about having kids awhile back.  I can’t wait to meet my kids’ kids when that day comes.  The reality is how much will that add to the quality of our lives to have little kids running around us when we’re in that phase of our lives?

And before I go, let me thank my own father Jay Cooper for the incredible Dad he has been to me.  There are some traits that I got due solely by being raised by him: being humble, working hard, loving nature, valuing money but not being impressed by money, being independent, exploring the world.  He’s still teaching me stuff.

Here are a few pics.  Please share your take on fatherhood via comments.

Me and my Dad, 1995

Guy Kawasaki

I was real stoked to get a chance to talk to Guy Kawasaki at South by Southwest about what quality of life means to him.  Ever since his 2006 post, “How to be a Mensch,” I knew I needed to interview Guy for my quality of life project.

People love Guy for his thought leadership on entrepreneurship and his sense of humor, wit and directness.  But I think it’s his down-to-earth, unpretentious manner that is his secret quality in drawing such a loyal following.

Below is a link to the video.   Here are my thoughts to some of the perspectives and practices Guy shared with us:

Spend time with your family
These “do not neglect the obvious” perspectives are often the most important.  Guy offers us another reminder (how many do we need?) that time goes fast and we ought to consider how we are spending our time.

Do something you enjoy
I really like how Guy talks about his love for hockey and that he doesn’t feel a need to justify it or intellectualize it.  He just says he loves doing it and that’s why he does it.  And of course he follows through on doing what he loves doing.  I’m sure he works extra early or late to deal with those two hours in the middle of the day playing hockey but he’s doing it!  Do you think he regrets it?

Family time can be watching TV together
Guy talks about “24” and “The Unit” as family time.  What a great and fresh take.  It’s all about experiencing shared interests.  Obviously Guy’s mainly about face time with his family but he makes an honest point that shared interests as a bonding experience. When my wife and I watched the first season of 24 together a few years back, we totally bonded over it – despite the “addiction” aspect to the show causing us to exhibit unsavory qualities such as lying to each other about whether one of us watched part of the following show.  We know a couple in town here that swears by their “shared activity” of playing Wii tennis.   It goes without saying that you have to have face time and nature interfacing activities in the mix; but if your family can bond over a television show, don’t miss out on that either.

Click above to watch the video